The etymology of piracy

This was the second half of my reply to PaulC’s comment on my previous Pirate Bay post, but I thought it was an interesting enough thought to warrant it’s own post instead.

Taking something that doesn't belong to you is called theft. Thieves can be sympathetic individuals with all kinds of potential motivation. They could be nice guys with no job and eight kids. Stealing bread makes me a thief, because I took your stuff.

Declaring the unjustness of the government and saying "we're not English anymore" is called rebellion (not revolution). A rebel can also be sympathetic, depending on his motivation. A rebellion can be started "because taxation without representation isn't fair" or because a bunch of guys who want to be the new aristocracy want to stir up the public to make it happen (hmmmmm...). Saying "I don't live by your rules anymore" makes me a rebel.

The dissemination of intellectual property without compensation to its originator is not called "theft." It's not called "rebellion." It's called "piracy." Pirate = bad. There's no ambiguity. Pirates are drunkards and rapists who take what they want and will probably kill you to get it. They are motivated by greed 100% of the time. Making a backup copy of a movie to which I have bought the right to view makes me a pirate. Removing the copy protection from a computer game so I don't have to swap CDs every ten minutes makes me a pirate.

So because I'm guilty of what ought to be considered a "white-collar" crime (but I'm not taking anyone's money, no one’s life is being ruined because of me, and I don't drive a Porsche), I'm the same as those guys who hi-jacked that boat a couple months ago. I guess that makes sense, since they killed a bunch of people and stole a bunch of stuff, and I... killed a lot of... time. And I stole... umm... nothing. And I hurt... nobody. But because the government is a slave to the MAFIAA (their real name), who wants me to shell out fifty bucks every time I scratch a disc, I'm a pirate. I guess I should feel lucky they're not calling me an "intellectual property rapist."

Verizon, Comcast and Republicans! Oh my!

First, here’s this note that Ashley (who has still not visited my blog) sent around. It’s about the Republican take on freedom of religion and why we need coliseums in every state capital (to feed republicans to the lions). Just briefly, here’s my opinion on that.

This country was founded on a single principal: liberty. The founding fathers had this crazy idea that I should be able to do or say anything I want, as long as it doesn’t prevent you from doing the same. I can worship whatever I want, however I want, at a reasonable volume, without raping or murdering anybody. If you disagree (and I’ve said this before), get the f@#& out of my country. I don’t need to convince you of anything, and you’re too stupid to be swayed by a reasonable argument. There’s a sign on the door that says “no fascists.” Beat it. No discussion. Just get out.

Now that I’ve gotten that out of my system

Yay Verizon! Yay Comcast! Go Red Sox! Every day! Woooo!!!!

As may be evident from the above nonsense, I am very happy with my new service providers. I’m online, I’ve got my crackberry, and I’m happy. I don’t have to wait eight days to watch Burn Notice (oh my God! They killed Doctor Jackson!) on Hulu (just what the hell is a “Bing-a-thon,” and did that little girl get a puppy?), I can watch South Park again, and I get NESN. That’s right. All you New Yorkers can kiss my butt, cause I’m watchin’ Red Sox reruns (they do that, right?).