But what do I know? I'm just a twice clicken brown shirt teabaggin tjroll. Right? --PatP

Not now. There are dirty, swaying men at my door. They’re looking for Brian. I need to go deal with that. --Thor

If Joss Wedon was near me, I'd of kicked his ass. --PaulC

Thursday, July 22, 2010

The Bechdel Test

Watch this video first, then listen while I discuss it. Then I guess you can comment.

I'm all for positive role models for young women. I'm all about women being equal to men in every reasonable measure (penis size is not a reasonable measure). But, in my opinion (without putting too much thought into it), movies that do pass this test tend to suck. I say that not because I can think of examples of movies that are bad, but because I can't think of a movie I like that passes this test. Hold on while I go through my DVD rack.

Okay. That was unfair. Nineteen movies (out of 173) movies passed the test. I didn't count TV shows, but I did count "Razor," the BSG middle-of-the-series "standalone" movie. I also didn't count Wall-E, which was generous of me, since they counted it as one against, which isn't fair because that was a movie about robots, which have no gender. None of the human characters had names. Notable movies that pass the test: Aliens, Breakfast Club, Center Stage, Crouching Tiger, Hannibal, Harry Potter, The Holiday, Kill Bill, Starship Troopers and Zoolander. Notable movies that did not pass the test: Anchorman, Count of Monte Cristo, Dances With Wolves, Dune, Love Actually, Jaws, The Hobbit, Predator, Pride & Prejudice, Star Trek (pick one), Tron, Twilight and Underworld. Good movies and shitty movies on both lists. Movies that portray women positively and negatively on both lists. Chick flicks, horror films and action movies on both lists. I just have to ask: What is the purpose of this test?

I have an idea. Women: for the next week, every time you talk to another woman that has a name (someone you know, not the bank teller or the traffic cop), make a note about whether or not a man comes up in the course of your conversation. I bet (with no agenda) that it will be pretty close, but that men (or a man in particular) will come up in more than half of your conversations with other women.

The sad fact is that (as much as it pains to give in to feminazi propaganda) we do still live in a male-dominated society. Things are getting "better," but it's still the case. Statistically speaking, it's more likely for your boss to be a man. It's more likely for the doctor to be a man, and it's more likely for the cop who pulled you over to be a man. (I feel like) Any person that you don't know with whom you are required to interact is more likely to be a man than a woman. So when you talk about your dentist appointment, or your trip to Best Buy, your asshole boss, or the cop who pulled you over, you're talking about a man.

So is it fair for movies to portray women as "always talking about men?" Yes and no. If you think it's okay for Alec Baldwin to smoke a cigar on 30 Rock, then it's pretty hypocritical to say it's not cool that Tina Fey and Jane Krakowski are always talking about their male co-workers. If, on the other hand, you think it's not cool for Alec to smoke on the show, because he's telling people that it's okay to smoke, then you subscribe to the idea that Americans are mostly children who need to be taught right from wrong. In that case, I can't call you a hypocrite for wishing that Tina and Jane would talk about something other than their co-workers (who are all men), on a show about how they interact with their co-workers. In this instance, I feel totally justified in calling you an ass, but I would be well outside any justification to call you a hypocrite.

Just to be clear, my reaction to this video is somewhere in the neighborhood of “who cares?” but I do think it’s worth a discussion.

So what do the rest of you (all three of you that read my blog) think? What’s the purpose of this test? How many movies on your shelf pass the test?

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

The Last Airbender

Dev Patel as Zuko

Image via Wikipedia

I have much to say.

I liked the movie. I didn’t love it, but I liked it. I’m really happy that the kid who played Zuko in the series got his part in the movie. The rest of the actors: meh. I like seeing Jackson Rathbone in more movies, since he was horrible in Eclipse and I really want to like him. In this, he was good. Again, not great, but good.

If you’ve seen the show, don’t bother watching the movie. Nothing new. It was fun to see a live-action film of the great story, but I expect a lot more when I see “written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan.”

The fights were well-choreographed, the bending was well-done, and the movie kept pretty well to the plot of the show. But there was very little character development. Bottom line: the plot was too much story for a two-hour movie. I feel like this was a six-hour epic that got hacked down to two hours. I hope that’s the case, because then when the DVD comes out, there will be a director’s cut with all the character development and Apa’s and Momo’s names back in.

As it stands, this was a movie about Zuko that focused a bit on Aang. What little character development there was focused on the prince, but the Avatar had more screen time (I think).

It was cool in 3D, and it added a bit of fun to the film without any of the gliche gimmicks.

I’d say see it, especially if you’re a fan of the series, but it felt a bit like watching the third Harry Potter movie. There was nothing new, and all the good stuff was pulled out to make it fit into two hours.

Enhanced by Zemanta

What Grinds My Gears

Humphrey Bogart

If you’re  my grandma, stop reading now. Skip this one. Take a day off from loving everything I write.

Is grandma gone? Good.

If one more person calls uses the phrase “silver screen” to refer to the modern motion picture industry, I’m going to eat a baby. I’m going to marinate it in a soy ginger sauce, barbecue it on the Charmglow grill in the courtyard outside my apartment, and eat it with some broccoli and rice. STOP CALLING IT THE SILVER SCREEN!!!

This has been pissing me off for a long time, but I’ve just had a bottle of wine and just read a synopsis on Netflix that called Eddie Izzard a star of the silver screen. I’m going to fucking murder a puppy and broil it with some bacon. I’m going to put a baby racoon’s head on the side of the curb and stomp on it. I’m going to shoot a howler monkey in the eye with a high-caliber handgun and then punt it off a bridge.

Let me be clear. The “silver screen” is a phrase that was used to refer to movies when the screen was, ya know, FUCKING SILVER!!! Black & white. Humphrey Bogart was a star of the silver screen. Brad Pitt is not. It was called the silver screen because a black and white movie looks like it’s being projected on a screen that is literally silver.

Now that motion pictures are filmed and displayed in color, you can’t call it that anymore. You can call it the big screen. You can’t call it the silver screen, because it’s not fucking sliver.

Grandma, if you read all that: Sorry, but I warned ya.

Enhanced by Zemanta