Comes the Übervac

So Kerry has been wanting a new vacuum cleaner for a long time, and she’s had her eye on a Dyson. “Cool,” says I. We need a vacuum, and that one’s nifty. Go ahead. Get it. So she’s been waiting for one to go on sale, which it did, last week at Best Buy. I am now the proud owner of a Dyson DC25 Blueprint Limited Edition (that means it silver and white instead of grey and purple).

At first, I thought “we need a vacuum, and that’s the one you want, so go ahead and get it.” Whatever. It’s a vacuum cleaner. Yes, there’s some wicked cool science behind it, but I get as excited about vacuum cleaners (suck + trash can = vacuum cleaner) as I do about hammers (rock + handle = hammer). At least that’s how excited I used to get.

We got home from grocery shopping/Best Buy and, while Kerry put away the groceries, I assembled the new toy. From the moment I saw all the pieces and how they fit together (using the Über-intuitive lego-esque instruction sheet), I was excited. It’s been said before, and now by me: this is not a vacuum cleaner. This is the home cleaning machine.

Just to briefly sum up: It cleans both carpet and hard floors, has all the functionality of our old cleaner’s several attachments all rolled up into it’s two, is bagless, user-serviceable, and nice to look at. Putting this thing together made me feel like a Starfleet engineer. Everything locks right into place where it’s supposed to, no tools required. Every single piece can be (to a point) disassembled to check for blockages/clean. Later I’m gonna run it through the dishwasher. No reason, I just can.This machine is Optimus Prime disguised as the Enterprise.

I don’t want to get into particulars, but this thing is awesome. I’ve taken it apart and put it back together twice since taking it out of the box yesterday. I’ve been walking around the apartment looking for things to clean. I cleaned my f*#@ing stove with this thing!

Best of all, the machine is idiot-proof (as idiot-proof as anything can be). The only way to break it is intentionally. As cool as they still are, I don’t even want a Roomba anymore. It would take all the fun out of vacuuming. I can’t believe I’ve gone on this long about a vacuum, but it is just that cool.

Was I excited about paying 350 dollars for a vacuum cleaner? No. Was I excited about getting it for a little more than half of retail? Hells yeah. And now that I’ve made friends with the thing, I consider it a good investment. We’ll see how long it lasts. If it goes five years, I’ll call it adequate. If it goes ten, I’m not even shopping. I’ll buy another one.